Why We Relay
There are many reasons or driving factors which lead me to Relay each year...and after reading the below post from another blog (the link was shared on another blog that I read), I was reminded of one of those reasons -- for the people who battle or have battled cancer (some of the most amazing people you will know) and their families.
I will share a bit from the first post that I read from the blog, it touched me so very much (and of course, led me to a few tears). It is written by a woman close to my age (with a husband and very young son) who created this blog shortly after she was diagnosed with leukemia last summer. The past week has been full of bad news for them, but the strength and faith in our God that she continues to exhibit is awesome.
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
The Results
Heaven got a lot closer today. We received the preliminary results from Friday's biopsy. The cancer has returned at 14% currently. We won't have detailed information until the cytogenetics are back from California (about 1 1/2 weeks), but it looks like the same one as before. We have an appointment on Friday to discuss options with the doctor. At this point they are few, and not very hopeful.
I am not a candidate for high-dose chemo, which would be a normal procedure at this point, because I've already had every chemo drug, and have most likely built up a resistance. (Plus, I'm at a lifetime limit for some of them.) A second stem cell transplant only holds about a 5% success rate. They mentioned using chemo treatments to prolong life, but I think any hope of a "cure" would rest in experimental clinical trials, which aren't covered by insurance and thus really aren't an option in my mind.
We have a lot of decisions to make over the weekend -- the kind couples in their 70s make. It all seems very unreal at the moment. It's hard to be hit with your own mortality. A part of me wanted so badly to believe that I had beat the odds, even though I've been a wreck this past week, knowing somehow that the news wouldn't be good. I think that is a sign of God's grace for me -- I needed to know deep down, because it is just too much to bear all at once.
We are heartbroken. This is not the news we wanted to hear. We wanted to raise our son, to grow old together, but God has different plans for our family. And as much as we don't understand them right now, we know that He is sovereign over this as well. Please pray for us, and for my family especially. My part in all of this is rather easy. I get to die and be with my Savior in glory. I get to miss out on all the suffering this world holds. It is my family who bear the grief and the pain day in and day out. It is for them that my heart breaks.
Hold your loved ones a little closer for me today. Live life a little more -- wear your dressy clothes around the house just because life is really short and stains don't really matter. Don't get impatient about the little things.
Someday we'll understand why.
For those of you who would like to read more from her blog, the link is wilhoite.blogspot.com. And even though you don't know them, lift them up in your prayers today.
I will share a bit from the first post that I read from the blog, it touched me so very much (and of course, led me to a few tears). It is written by a woman close to my age (with a husband and very young son) who created this blog shortly after she was diagnosed with leukemia last summer. The past week has been full of bad news for them, but the strength and faith in our God that she continues to exhibit is awesome.
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
The Results
Heaven got a lot closer today. We received the preliminary results from Friday's biopsy. The cancer has returned at 14% currently. We won't have detailed information until the cytogenetics are back from California (about 1 1/2 weeks), but it looks like the same one as before. We have an appointment on Friday to discuss options with the doctor. At this point they are few, and not very hopeful.
I am not a candidate for high-dose chemo, which would be a normal procedure at this point, because I've already had every chemo drug, and have most likely built up a resistance. (Plus, I'm at a lifetime limit for some of them.) A second stem cell transplant only holds about a 5% success rate. They mentioned using chemo treatments to prolong life, but I think any hope of a "cure" would rest in experimental clinical trials, which aren't covered by insurance and thus really aren't an option in my mind.
We have a lot of decisions to make over the weekend -- the kind couples in their 70s make. It all seems very unreal at the moment. It's hard to be hit with your own mortality. A part of me wanted so badly to believe that I had beat the odds, even though I've been a wreck this past week, knowing somehow that the news wouldn't be good. I think that is a sign of God's grace for me -- I needed to know deep down, because it is just too much to bear all at once.
We are heartbroken. This is not the news we wanted to hear. We wanted to raise our son, to grow old together, but God has different plans for our family. And as much as we don't understand them right now, we know that He is sovereign over this as well. Please pray for us, and for my family especially. My part in all of this is rather easy. I get to die and be with my Savior in glory. I get to miss out on all the suffering this world holds. It is my family who bear the grief and the pain day in and day out. It is for them that my heart breaks.
Hold your loved ones a little closer for me today. Live life a little more -- wear your dressy clothes around the house just because life is really short and stains don't really matter. Don't get impatient about the little things.
Someday we'll understand why.
For those of you who would like to read more from her blog, the link is wilhoite.blogspot.com. And even though you don't know them, lift them up in your prayers today.
posted by Jackie at
6:32 AM
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